सुख सम्रिधि की हो वृद्धि,
आपकी बीवी ना रहे उतनी जिद्दी
जिंदगी में हो आपके सब सपने पुरे,
बॉस को ना कभी लगे आपके काम अधूरे
सब इच्छाएं पूरी हो तुम्हारी,
नव वर्षी की यही शुभकामनाएं हैं हमारी |
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Marriage/शादी/विवाह/लग्न
Whatever is expressed here are going to be my personal opinions and has nothing to do with anyone else. And why I am writing this is definitely a curiosity for many or most who will be reading it, so please use your imagination to figure it out.
What is marriage and why do we get married?
Every girl is skeptical to get married, this is my experience with almost all the girls whom I know and it will be a sufficient number to be taken for statistical consideration, so no questions on that I hope. Till now I have not come across a boy who is really worried about getting married but number will not be zero for sure.
Reason for this jitters are different and typically are .
1. How will I be able to adjust to new place new people?
2. How will he/his family treat me?
3. Why should I leave my parents?
4. What will be relation like?
5. Will I be forced to do things, which I don’t want to?
6. What if I differ on opinions with him/his family?
7. Plans for baby?
8. How is his behavior and relations with female colleagues?
9. How much space are you willing to give to each other?
These are typical questions in a girls mind considering Indian marriages. Last three questions are common for both boys and girls.
Following are few questions which are from boys’ side.
1. Will she treat my parents properly?
2. Will she adjust with my family?
3. How is she in nature and behavior?
These are typically questions related to arrange marriages as many of us are not privileged to experience love marriage. But in love marriages also these questions come and transition of boyfriend/lover into husband is a cause of worry for many.
I will try to put forth what I have been sharing with my fairer sex friends and recently with one of my male friend. This will address to some of the questions put forth above.
Let us start with what is marriage?
Why there is a need to get married?
Is it license required to have sex?
Is it mandatory need of so called human society?
What is it?
See marriage, whether it is arranged or love or love cum arrange is a decision after both involved feel yes we can take it forward.
Yes, many a times this decision is taken by others or individuals are forced to take or accept this decision but situation has improved drastically.
As per me, marriage is an understood decision taken by two individuals to stay together for life time, to be able to take care of each other and related ones.
Sounds full of expectations, isn’t it?
Actually it is not.
I strongly feel marriages have to be worked out and they can certainly be worked out, if you want them too. Parting away is always is an easiest option to choose but is it worth exercising for the reason, is the vital issue.
Any kind of marriage may it be love or arrange or love cum arranged has to be worked out. Seems weird or a bit difficult to digest, but yes it is true. People who are डूबे हुए in एक दूसरे के इश्क में, have to work, in fact much harder as the statement “शादी के पहले तो तुम ऐसे नहीं थे|” starts playing a major role.
After marriage you start to share place and start staying together, you start crossing each other’s spheres ‘n’ number of times in a day. Before you were married this sphere of yours was not interfered that much and definitely not in person so it’s the primary cause of turbulence. This crossing results in some friction and wherever there is friction; energy in the form of heat is generated and this starts to cause wear. 1
Best way to resolve this kind of situation realizing and confronting to each other that this is what is happening and this is troubling me rather than waiting for partner/spouse to realize on his/her own and act. It’s not always the case that spouse/partners are not bothered about issues but many a times they are also trying but direction is not appropriate. It’s simple vector algebra that their efforts may lead to aggravate the situation rather than soothing it. So helping you loved one to resolve the issue is best solution. Here understood truth which is not so much understood many a times is that “Marriage is an association for years, your one time effort may give you returns for life time (such type of returns if available in financial market will be a tremendous success)”
Marriage is a new beginning of a family where two grownups begin leading a family their way. Here word ‘two’ is a bit tricky one as many a time or most of the time this leading is done by boy only. As even though today’s girls are working self dependent but when it comes to being a part of decision making tend to back or buckle out. I must admit this situation is changing but reality needs to be acknowledged. This kind of tendency is right wrong is altogether a different issue but this approach is totally against so called ancient definition of marriage which is “पति और पत्नी सहजीवन या संसार के दो चक्के हैं|”
Somehow we as in the whole society have lost our real values and started perceiving those values which were found to be suitable by the respective generations. This process is leading to a generational filtration of customs and traditions. This is enjoyed by a part of society and other cries over it.
Coming back to the original issue, there has to be equality and I suppose this is the best opportunity to filter out some bad traits in either of the families (boys or girls). It’s a new beginning and hence implementation is easier. Change means friction and hence dialogue is important.
Today mostly both the spouse are working as average education level has gone up along with the need for money generation to lead a happy life and run household. This generates a unique issue which was not there in previously and that is ‘Space/ freedom/room’.
A few years back working women was a rare scene, which has changed drastically now. But still the majority of the workforce is male. This creates a unique problem of ‘colleagues/friends’. This is mostly an issue with male side (wives friends and colleagues) as mostly women are not authorized/ empowered to have an objection. This statement of mine will obviously raise few concerns. In any case either of women r of men, objection on friends and colleagues will have a gradual increasing trend like from being suspicious to cynical. This certainly needs trust on your partner and which can again be built by sharing communicating. A solution which I feel is effective cross interaction of groups. After all a marriage links two families so why not friend circles and colleagues. So respect each others friends and see miracles happening.
Many times in-laws are a concern which again a changing scenario from B/W Lalita 2 is being cruel mother–in-law. But still for a girl it’s like she has to leave her place and settle in other world. It’s certainly not easy but still she feels she will succeed in it with help of her biggest hope that the person for whom she is doing so, will stand by her all the time. If she does not get the kind of support she needs or desire, she starts to hold back herself, again a sort of deceleration and hence friction.
The concern about in-laws these days are from both sides from girls as well as of boys. Many girls want independent life so no disturbance is desired from ageing and bed ridden parents which mostly turn out to be not her but spouses parents. This kind of situations certainly need some tough handling and understanding to be given to the girl and if required to the boy too. Many times as due to job issues couple has to live in other city from that of in-laws. This creates a race and a balancing act about sharing holidays and vacations.
सोचे तो बहोत कुछ हे वरना कुछ भी नहीं
After all above and to summaries marriage is ‘us’ so to have a meaningful us both constituents need to be happy and playing their roles.
Best quote I have come across is :
“A marriage cannot be termed successful until the husband and wife understand what either of them have not said.”
Ultimately marriage is the process of falling in love with the same person again and again.
I have preached share/ communicate as a solution to everything. This can be utilized by a telecom company for sure: D
Reference :
1: For further in depth effects of wear please refer Tribology book by
J. Williams, Engineering Tribology, Oxford science Publication,1994, pp.166-199.
2: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lalita_Pawar
What is marriage and why do we get married?
Every girl is skeptical to get married, this is my experience with almost all the girls whom I know and it will be a sufficient number to be taken for statistical consideration, so no questions on that I hope. Till now I have not come across a boy who is really worried about getting married but number will not be zero for sure.
Reason for this jitters are different and typically are .
1. How will I be able to adjust to new place new people?
2. How will he/his family treat me?
3. Why should I leave my parents?
4. What will be relation like?
5. Will I be forced to do things, which I don’t want to?
6. What if I differ on opinions with him/his family?
7. Plans for baby?
8. How is his behavior and relations with female colleagues?
9. How much space are you willing to give to each other?
These are typical questions in a girls mind considering Indian marriages. Last three questions are common for both boys and girls.
Following are few questions which are from boys’ side.
1. Will she treat my parents properly?
2. Will she adjust with my family?
3. How is she in nature and behavior?
These are typically questions related to arrange marriages as many of us are not privileged to experience love marriage. But in love marriages also these questions come and transition of boyfriend/lover into husband is a cause of worry for many.
I will try to put forth what I have been sharing with my fairer sex friends and recently with one of my male friend. This will address to some of the questions put forth above.
Let us start with what is marriage?
Why there is a need to get married?
Is it license required to have sex?
Is it mandatory need of so called human society?
What is it?
See marriage, whether it is arranged or love or love cum arrange is a decision after both involved feel yes we can take it forward.
Yes, many a times this decision is taken by others or individuals are forced to take or accept this decision but situation has improved drastically.
As per me, marriage is an understood decision taken by two individuals to stay together for life time, to be able to take care of each other and related ones.
Sounds full of expectations, isn’t it?
Actually it is not.
I strongly feel marriages have to be worked out and they can certainly be worked out, if you want them too. Parting away is always is an easiest option to choose but is it worth exercising for the reason, is the vital issue.
Any kind of marriage may it be love or arrange or love cum arranged has to be worked out. Seems weird or a bit difficult to digest, but yes it is true. People who are डूबे हुए in एक दूसरे के इश्क में, have to work, in fact much harder as the statement “शादी के पहले तो तुम ऐसे नहीं थे|” starts playing a major role.
After marriage you start to share place and start staying together, you start crossing each other’s spheres ‘n’ number of times in a day. Before you were married this sphere of yours was not interfered that much and definitely not in person so it’s the primary cause of turbulence. This crossing results in some friction and wherever there is friction; energy in the form of heat is generated and this starts to cause wear. 1
Best way to resolve this kind of situation realizing and confronting to each other that this is what is happening and this is troubling me rather than waiting for partner/spouse to realize on his/her own and act. It’s not always the case that spouse/partners are not bothered about issues but many a times they are also trying but direction is not appropriate. It’s simple vector algebra that their efforts may lead to aggravate the situation rather than soothing it. So helping you loved one to resolve the issue is best solution. Here understood truth which is not so much understood many a times is that “Marriage is an association for years, your one time effort may give you returns for life time (such type of returns if available in financial market will be a tremendous success)”
Marriage is a new beginning of a family where two grownups begin leading a family their way. Here word ‘two’ is a bit tricky one as many a time or most of the time this leading is done by boy only. As even though today’s girls are working self dependent but when it comes to being a part of decision making tend to back or buckle out. I must admit this situation is changing but reality needs to be acknowledged. This kind of tendency is right wrong is altogether a different issue but this approach is totally against so called ancient definition of marriage which is “पति और पत्नी सहजीवन या संसार के दो चक्के हैं|”
Somehow we as in the whole society have lost our real values and started perceiving those values which were found to be suitable by the respective generations. This process is leading to a generational filtration of customs and traditions. This is enjoyed by a part of society and other cries over it.
Coming back to the original issue, there has to be equality and I suppose this is the best opportunity to filter out some bad traits in either of the families (boys or girls). It’s a new beginning and hence implementation is easier. Change means friction and hence dialogue is important.
Today mostly both the spouse are working as average education level has gone up along with the need for money generation to lead a happy life and run household. This generates a unique issue which was not there in previously and that is ‘Space/ freedom/room’.
A few years back working women was a rare scene, which has changed drastically now. But still the majority of the workforce is male. This creates a unique problem of ‘colleagues/friends’. This is mostly an issue with male side (wives friends and colleagues) as mostly women are not authorized/ empowered to have an objection. This statement of mine will obviously raise few concerns. In any case either of women r of men, objection on friends and colleagues will have a gradual increasing trend like from being suspicious to cynical. This certainly needs trust on your partner and which can again be built by sharing communicating. A solution which I feel is effective cross interaction of groups. After all a marriage links two families so why not friend circles and colleagues. So respect each others friends and see miracles happening.
Many times in-laws are a concern which again a changing scenario from B/W Lalita 2 is being cruel mother–in-law. But still for a girl it’s like she has to leave her place and settle in other world. It’s certainly not easy but still she feels she will succeed in it with help of her biggest hope that the person for whom she is doing so, will stand by her all the time. If she does not get the kind of support she needs or desire, she starts to hold back herself, again a sort of deceleration and hence friction.
The concern about in-laws these days are from both sides from girls as well as of boys. Many girls want independent life so no disturbance is desired from ageing and bed ridden parents which mostly turn out to be not her but spouses parents. This kind of situations certainly need some tough handling and understanding to be given to the girl and if required to the boy too. Many times as due to job issues couple has to live in other city from that of in-laws. This creates a race and a balancing act about sharing holidays and vacations.
सोचे तो बहोत कुछ हे वरना कुछ भी नहीं
After all above and to summaries marriage is ‘us’ so to have a meaningful us both constituents need to be happy and playing their roles.
Best quote I have come across is :
“A marriage cannot be termed successful until the husband and wife understand what either of them have not said.”
Ultimately marriage is the process of falling in love with the same person again and again.
I have preached share/ communicate as a solution to everything. This can be utilized by a telecom company for sure: D
Reference :
1: For further in depth effects of wear please refer Tribology book by
J. Williams, Engineering Tribology, Oxford science Publication,1994, pp.166-199.
2: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lalita_Pawar
Friday, March 5, 2010
Life मध्ये proportion असतच कधी
Life मध्ये proportion असतच कधी
आकडे जूळवण्यातून वेळ उरतोच किती
पहिल्या भेटीची आठवण म्हणून
बिलाच्याच मागे कविता लिहून
व्यावहारिक प्रेम व्यक्त करतय कुणी
life मध्ये proportion असतच कधी
Valentines day साजरा करण्या साठी
आपल्या Valentine ला मिठी मारत
मागच्या पोरी बघतंय कुणी
life मध्ये proportion असतच कधी
लग्नाच्या खर्चिक बैंड बाज्यातून सटकुन
अहेरात cash आली किती
हे बघताय कुणी
life मध्ये proportion असतच कधी
निरोगी आयुष्यासाठी नव्हे
त by -pass चा खर्च वाचवण्यासाठी
रामदेव बाबा करतय कोणी
life मध्ये proportion असतच कधी
माणसे जोडण्याचा प्रयत्न
आपण करतोच कधी
life मधले proportion
पैश्या पेक्षा वेगळा असतच कधी
Life मध्ये proportion असतच कधी
आकडे जूळवण्यातून वेळ उरतोच किती
आकडे जूळवण्यातून वेळ उरतोच किती
पहिल्या भेटीची आठवण म्हणून
बिलाच्याच मागे कविता लिहून
व्यावहारिक प्रेम व्यक्त करतय कुणी
life मध्ये proportion असतच कधी
Valentines day साजरा करण्या साठी
आपल्या Valentine ला मिठी मारत
मागच्या पोरी बघतंय कुणी
life मध्ये proportion असतच कधी
लग्नाच्या खर्चिक बैंड बाज्यातून सटकुन
अहेरात cash आली किती
हे बघताय कुणी
life मध्ये proportion असतच कधी
निरोगी आयुष्यासाठी नव्हे
त by -pass चा खर्च वाचवण्यासाठी
रामदेव बाबा करतय कोणी
life मध्ये proportion असतच कधी
माणसे जोडण्याचा प्रयत्न
आपण करतोच कधी
life मधले proportion
पैश्या पेक्षा वेगळा असतच कधी
Life मध्ये proportion असतच कधी
आकडे जूळवण्यातून वेळ उरतोच किती
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